EP1 What leads female founders to overwhelm and how to reduce its effects.

[00:00:00] Today I am here with Katie, who is a holistic coach, and we're gonna go over the subject of overwhelming female founders. Thrilled to have you here today. Morning. No afternoon actually, isn't it? Yeah, they're welcome and thank you.

And, uh, thanks for having me.

a reflected first question for you.

From your experience, what causes more overwhelm in female founders than anything else? That's, I think that's a really interesting start point because certainly from a coaching perspective, everyone's unique and everyone's journey is unique. We always have that as a foundational principle and value in coaching.

However, in terms of founders and business, I definitely think it's the juggle, particularly in those early days where you've got some, to somehow find the balance between. Doing your business, being in your business, working on your business,

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[00:01:00] and then actually making sure you have some kind of life outside of all of that. And especially in those early days when there's a lot of passion, you hope you know a lot of passion, heart projects, heart led women, just really wanting to serve and make a difference in the world. It's really easy. To lose that balance. And that I think has definitely been something I've seen in the, the women that I've been honored to work with in those early days of

business starting. But I think it can actually happen at any point in the journey. I would assume that you have experienced this juggle, as you say yourself. In different ways, in different seasons of my business for sure. I've been in business for quite some time, and I think I didn't notice it so much when I was younger. And I, I'm now in my mid forties. I started business, my first business when I was in my early mid twenties,

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[00:02:00] and I didn't have children and then. Children happened and suddenly my working week not only needed to change but had to change and so I thought I had a massive overwhelming, suddenly I, I was so used to just putting in a few hours extra here or there, and suddenly not having those extra hours that.

In reflection, I realized wasn't a great thing actually. Mm. Uh, working so many hours in and on my business before, but, that having those transitions and then also just feeling different, with life. Mm. Becoming actually part of that. I think my overwhelm story. Definitely. Yeah. I've heard a lot that business owners work more hours than like a full-time.

Job most of the time, like 50, 60 plus hours a week's. Just, just crazy. Just crazy that somebody is

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[00:03:00] working that much every week. Yeah. What, what did you do about it? So you had that part where your kids came along and turned your world upside down a little bit. What, what did you do about it? So there was that, I think before I had my children, I did have to take a big reflection because, before being sort of coach on the whole of a human being. I was a personal trainer and I worked in fitness and I definitely saw 60 hour weeks, not 60 hours of movement with not at all, but my body was tired, so from, I had a physical overwhelm, so I did have to overhaul, my. Energy protection in my business as earlier on than children, but I still was definitely, if I, I hate to think if I was to put down on paper the hours I was working a week, what I was actually working before children, but then when children come along, it certainly for me

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[00:04:00] meant that I had to think very, very wisely about simple things like.

How do I sort childcare out? What are my hours? So I, I became, I, I guess actually probably setting up my business in a much more efficient way, but also very boundaried. I'm wondering if perhaps that was the biggest turning point for me was really establishing very strong boundaries is even to the point of getting a, a work phone and Oh, wow.

Okay. That's the work phone. When I'm working. That's on When I'm not, it's not. Doesn't mean I don't, perhaps, you know, if everyone's busy and doing their own thing and I've got an hour that I need to do some admin, maybe I'll pop it in on then. Yeah, for sure. And even to the sense of I put all my social media and everything else, right.

You completely like separated it, it just, yeah. So that's it. So that's protected and that was protecting time as well for

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[00:05:00] me. So I could really focus, have my presence and my energy is here in my family. Now my energy is here in my business. 'cause I, I just, I can't, I can't and maybe don't want to as well.

I think an element of juggling those energy, they're very different energies for me. And so I needed to be able to shut off the Yeah. I think that's probably the, the biggest differe, there's lots of nuances. Way, but definitely those things for sure. Sure. It's really interesting you say that actually.

'cause I've made all of my apps boring. Like I've made them all colorless. So that when I open the phone, I don't go on them all the time. 'cause otherwise I just start working. Like you say, like you just, you start on your business account and then you start working automatically. It's just, yeah. Separating is a good way to go, I think.

From working with your clients, what would you say is the most impactful change you've helped 'em with to reduce overwhelm. I think that's a really, really good question. I think if you ask them, and I really hope this would be the response, that each one of them would say something

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[00:06:00] completely unique and different. Because coaching, again, it should reflect that in, in the outcome, but

although it is incredibly personal. The change perhaps within my clients. I think if I was to weave a thread through their journeys and, and how that has been impacting on overwhelm and, and all of those things in that they've, they've kind of started working me with it would probably be to really.

Understand what deep health means to them and how that could look and what it, what those foundational pieces mean in their business life, their personal life, and everything in between. And I guess underneath all of that is truly deeper clarity. And I think if you can distill coaching and,

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[00:07:00] and kind of the work that I do into.

Into one word, it would be clarity. Hmm. I'm curious about, uh, what you said there, where you said deep, what was it? Deep, deep health? Yeah. Where does that come from? It's the first time I've heard that phrase. It's an interesting phrase, isn't it? So I, years I've used wellbeing. Flourishing. My, my background is, in coaching is positive psychology, and it's all about the, the science behind human flourishing.

But a lot of these words, I feel kind of lose their impact in translation sometimes. And I started doing a certificate in sleep stress management and recovery practices through precision nutrition. It's an American, a really large body. An incredible program, and it's a concept they use. So when I had deep health, suddenly it was like a light bulb went on.

I went, that's exactly what this is. It's a bit

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[00:08:00] like, there's self-care. So, so a phrase that I love is, is self-care. However, I love sacred self care and deep self care, and I think they're slightly different things and, and health has so many. Parts to it. Mm. Kind of where, where's the impact? Where do we have the biggest and deep health is those big impactors, it's

the surface level. And then we're gonna get really underneath to what matters. Do we use the most? Maybe not, but what matters in terms of having very positive change that then all the other parts of health kind of sit on. And I've used foundations and I love all of those expressions, but actually foundations aren't re in in when it comes to wellbeing.

Mm. Certainly bigger picture of wellbeing aren't levels, but deep health kind of is. It's a very. Interesting way of

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[00:09:00] looking at how can I, how can I ensure that I really am looking after me and me right now, especially in business, especially when you're a founder, when you're starting out, how can you look after yourself in those ways?

And that's the essence of deep health. Hmm. That's really interest. Yeah. When you said that, uh, earlier, I thought that's a really interesting, I've never heard anybody else use that kind of saying, but it, but it hits like it. It's. More at like the core of you, I would say than, yeah, like the surface level bits that you do, like drinking two liters of water every day and all that sort of stuff that we get told to do, which is so important.

Yeah, it really is important. All of those things are part of this wider puzzle of health, aren't they? Deep health, when you are looking, so deep health is looking at stress. It is there. There is more to it than these things, but looking at stress, looking at. That story of stress looking at sleep. And looking at how we are restoring when we've had times where we are a bit more overwhelmed. So I, yeah,

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[00:10:00] it's, it's a curious phrase that I'm still really trying to kind of understand what it means for me as well. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Uh, what are your top five adjustments people can make in their life to reduce overwhelm?

Again, really brilliant because when you're picked like five, I wanna, let's deliver how many,

I am gonna put a caveat to this to say It always depends. It depends. It depends. And I think it really does because all of us are carrying around very different things. I will answer your question, I promise, but I always want to say to someone, I say, yeah, we all have the same 24 hours. We genuinely don't.

Our worlds are completely different all the way around the planet, and we don't have the same 24 hours. I think it almost goes with the same, with stress and overwhelm, those, those five things. But I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try.

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[00:11:00] Okay. I think the first one. And this, I think, is just really sharing wisdom from the length of time that I've spent doing what I do and, and being a business owner is slowing down.

Hmm. And slowing down if you are brave enough, courageous enough to try and, and sometimes do that when we feel like we should be speeding up. If you can slow down, that really can just. Taking a pause, I guess slowing down, taking pause would be my first one. The next one would be to be intentional.

Very intentional and craft out, even if it's a small amount of time for wellbeing every day and whatever wellbeing means to you. And this is coming back to your early questions about what perhaps is the work idea. What's the thing that they come out with? Clients over overwhelm being clarity.

It's that kind of level, like what does it mean for me to have wellbeing and what does that look like in my

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[00:12:00] day? So an example for me would be my carving out is I try and always go for a walk outside for 15 minutes before I start anything, no matter what that looks like. And the weather that we've had makes it very interesting at the moment, but I do still try and do that. And I, and I keep it deliberately small because like I can fit 15 minutes in Mm. Do that. I've got a roots. It's lovely. I always feel calm and it's a really nice way of setting me, uh, myself up to the day, my working day. The next one again is around clarity, I think, but it's understanding your stress journey.

Like what are all the pieces of the puzzle that mean that you are. Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? What does it look like? There's a, an incredible coach called Rich Lip, and he uses this phrase of the perfect storm. Okay. And I love that. And I use it with clients, a lot of what's the

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[00:13:00] perfect storm of overwhelm or stress?

And you can literally put any label there. What's the perfect storm? What are all the pieces that happen? And then you flip it. That becomes then maybe a recovery. Hmm. How would, how would someone start like describing their perfect storm, would you say? I'm very visual, so I, I would draw it. Okay.

Even with clients, if even on screen I would get like something, a visual that, a tool that we could draw. I literally just put whatever it is in the middle, so if it's overwhelmed, boom. Put that in the middle. So it is all unique and it's okay. So when I'm feeling overwhelmed. What's happening in my day?

I might take a day, for instance, to start out and I, I would say normally I have perhaps agreed to, even with just myself, but agreed to do maybe a lot of things that take more time than I have. So I am brilliant at

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[00:14:00] not budgeting enough time to complete a project of something or a piece of work, and I've learned that.

And so now I always triple check. I've given myself 45 minutes for that. Do I need to do three times, four, five minutes over three weeks and just find an one of those 45 minute blocks at some point? So. You understand it's about understanding these pieces of the puzzle and just start drawing off again.

'cause I'm visual drawing off. There's a line that's one. It could be that I haven't had flexibility in my day for the school to phone. Right. They, by the way, I'm so sorry. One of your children is really poorly. Mm. Can you come get them? Yeah. I, I think it, it is really tough as a business person to manage unexpected.

Things coming at you. Yeah. Like the roof leaking. Yeah. Oh, now the roof's leaking and it's not that you, you know, and I mean, the reality is how can we really pinpoint these things in our days? Mm-hmm. But it was more so for me, an

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[00:15:00] overwhelm would be not having some windows of flexibility. Another one would be not taking a lunch break.

Right. That is definitely part of my. Maybe not my overwhelm per se, but definitely my stress perfect storm. Not taking a lunch. Right. Not giving myself even 30 minutes to just stop down tools and have some good food. And enjoy a moment. And that's, and that's how you build it out, is just, and you go through until you, you've exhausted all of those areas.

It could be not having a boundary conversation about protected time. It might be not having a conversation with your partner about your day ahead and the fact that actually you are gonna be, especially if we're, we're now, lots of us are working from our homes and remote working. I've got a, I've got a retreat space, which is brilliant, but sometimes I actually need to be physically in.

Today I'm in my kitchen. And it's about having those, if I don't have those conversations of like, I need to have some quiet time. Is it

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[00:16:00] okay, I'm gonna be in this space? And, and I will feel like if, if I've not had those things and had taken the time to have those conversations, that really can make me feel like, oh my, how am I gonna manage this?

And now I feel overwhelmed. Because you're also getting support from your family as well when you have those conversations, aren't you? They go, no. Okay. Like have a good, like have a good meeting or whatever. You know, it's just, it's nice to hear, isn't it? Absolutely. For sure. Yeah. Okay, number four. You're on number four.

Done. Well remembered.

This is easier than, than done, but I would say that if you can take some time to create a habit or simple habit. That are about protecting and prioritizing rest and sleep do so. Okay. And that's one of those deep health pieces. It's

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[00:17:00] tricky. It can feel very challenging and there are times when it's much easier and smoother.

Than others, but it's for sure worth taking a little bit of time to reflect on that part. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I would say that's my biggest struggle with sleep. I find it so hard to fall to sleep, and then once I'm asleep, I have horrendous dreams and nightmares, so I feel like I haven't slept by the time I wake up.

But yeah, I've, I've always struggled with. Sleep, especially around work, and if I'm stressed, it's just like 10 times worse. So, yeah. Um, I've tried having a routine and everything. I guess I've gotta go back to it because it's getting bad again, but, you know, like, uh, not looking at my phone before bed and things like that.

So. Yeah. Yeah. And there are, there are some simple things that you can try out. And I think it's, I, I, I mean there are an

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[00:18:00] incredible resources out there and there are incredible coaches are specialized just in, in sleep. Yeah. But certainly I think the biggest thing for me about any habit change is not doing everything.

But trying one thing, like becoming in an experiment, if you change all the variables, you then can't trace what variable is actually having the impact. Yeah. And so, especially when it comes to things like sleep, um, find it, just trying one thing and seeing how that lands and making it easy and simple.

Okay. And your, it's challenging. Yeah, for sure. And your fifth one, your last one. It's obvious. I think clarity,

I'm overwhelm, I wonder, and I'm often curious with my own and clients' feelings of, of what overwhelm means to them. But also in terms of

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[00:19:00]

whether overwhelm is a collection of things happening. Or whether it's very specific. Mm. And knowledge is always power, isn't it? And so actually taking some time, I think going back to that perfect storm activity, really. And maybe taking some time to really think about how it shows up, what it does, how you feel.

The who, what, why, the whens. And really taking some time to have deep clarity about. Overwhelm and you are overwhelmed because we can't ever explain it really truly to someone unless we understand ourselves. What is it? What is this thing called? Overwhelm? What is it? Yeah. It means something different for everyone, doesn't it?

Yeah. Like you said, like everybody is unique and you experience stress in your own unique way and your body reacts in its own unique way to stress and yeah, it's, it is

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[00:20:00] very. A unique topic, and that's why I think it's so popular and people try lots of different things to help with it, but you can become overwhelmed by trying to be overwhelmed.

You know, in terms of something, these 15 things that you're gonna try and put in every day, just to not feel overwhelmed. You're gonna feel overwhelmed. Just try harder white knuckle your way through overwhelm. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So last question I have. If there's one thing you wish business O owners listening today would give themselves more permission to do, what would it be?

Oh, one thing pinning me down. You're only allowed one.

Be selfish. Ooh, say more. Um, I think this is not about the. If we take ego out of the definitions of what we're

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[00:21:00] told that just is in society, take that out. Take away all those kind of preloaded con misconceptions, maybe about what being selfish is, but I think it's much more about energy protection boundaries.

Actually making sure that in this beautiful journey of being a solopreneur or female founder. We need to be well and okay and in a really great energetic space to be able to do what we need to do mm-hmm. In our work and in our lives, and to have fun along the way and play and passionate, all these things.

So yeah. Be, be selfish with those things. It's okay to be selfish. Mm. Because we are not talking about the ego term. That's banded around sometimes and perhaps, you know, is seen as not a great thing to be, but in terms of, yeah, like I say, energy protection and all of the things that mean that you

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[00:22:00] are looking after you.

Because you are your greatest asset. Yeah. Yeah. I really hear you with that. Like, you can't serve people well from half an empty cup. You need to be full before you can fully help anybody else. Yeah. That old saying of how are you gonna love yourself? How is anybody gonna love you if you don't love yourself?

Or something like that. I'm totally wrong. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But yeah, it's a very similar thing. Well, thank you so much for that conversation. It was really insightful. So I'm just gonna round us off here. Katie is a holistic coach who can help you with one-to-one coaching, massage and restoration workshops and retreats.

She's based in Dover in the uk. If you're a female business owner needing help with being balanced in your life, please get in touch with Katie. I'll put all of her links in the description below the video. And thank you so much, Katie, for joining me today. It's been really valuable, insightful conversation on the subject of

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[00:23:00] overwhelm.

Thanks, Mel. Take care. Have a good day. Bye bye-bye.

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